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February 21, 2007
Garden goes dark
Lights out for beacon of porn
Photos by Frank Kownacki
Moving vans were spotted clearing out the infamous and historic Garden Theater on the North Side yesterday. The hotly debated, legally snarled, clustersomethingthatillegallywentoninsidethetheater that has ensnared the joint for years is now utterly, completely over.
Which is good. But here's hoping former patrons have purchased a DVD player and television in anticipation of the shutdown. Now, guys, as any cinephile knows, it's always better on the big screen, but you'll just have to make do.
In any event, the Urban Redevelopment Authority (presumably after a thorough de-lousing, scrubbing, sweeping and napalming of the Garden's well-worn interior) will soon send out a request for proposals from developers seeking to rehab the rotting husk of the North Side's Sodom.
Dish assumes many folks will want to turn the Garden into a more respectable movie house, artsy films and such. FelliniFest 2008 and the like. That would be fantastic. But, in the spirit of unbridled creativity and unfettered imagination, Dish asks you, Dish reader, to proffer your own proposals. The offer the wall, the better. OK, we'd like to hear some serious suggestions as well, but don't dare plead for a Starbucks.
For the record, Dish is kinda hoping for a nicer porn theater, but that's just us.
Please post your ideas in comments.
February 21, 2007 in News , North Side | Permalink
Comments
I believe it is an absolute must that the theater be restored to its former glory. A little culture on the Northside would definitely benefit the neighborhood, get rid of the subspecies that litter that area & bring a new-found interest from respectable investors. I think we're all super jazzed about the prospects...fer sure!
Posted by: cian | Mar 5, 2007 11:30:29 AM
I say turn it into a rent-free, luxury living space for moi! That would benefit the community because people would want to live near me. Plus, with no rent, I could afford a huge wide-screen TV and I could play porn for the more attractive, closeted suburbanites looking for their "special treat" on Fridays (or whenever I'm free). ;)
Posted by: dwight | Mar 2, 2007 11:12:24 AM
Day care is actually an awesome idea.
But how about day care by day, raucus, off-the-wall venue for music, movies, and performance art by night?
Posted by: Bram | Feb 26, 2007 10:45:04 PM
I blogged about this too.
http://rauterkus.blogspot.com/2007/02/2m-tag-for-garden-theatre-bargain.html
Funny point #1: They want hustle and bustle.
#2. Then with the eminent domain for private ownerships. So, they rob from Peter to give to Paul. (pun intended)
Sad point: If the URA really wanted a theater -- why not open the now closed, historic Carnegie Library space? It was designed by the same who did the Library of Congress. I think it was Carnegie's 2nd library. Also a "Back to the Future" site for a lightening bolt, but that's another script.
So, why not put a libary into the space of the Garden Theater. Churn.
Another point at my blog -- the call for a tax on porn. Honz Man wants it.
Posted by: Mark Rauterkus | Feb 23, 2007 8:56:51 PM
That's odd- everytime I walked past the Garden the block was lined with luxury cars with "Lexus of Wexford" stickers on the bumpers and baby seats on the back seat--and the only guys I saw coming out of it had suits on.
Plus my buddy who sleeps in the park told me.
Posted by: greyhoundgrrl | Feb 23, 2007 12:29:56 PM
I can't stomach Panera-- I was joking that although a million other good things could go into the Garden space, the way things work here it is much more likely that an appaling corporate behemoth like Panera will get it instead.
I live three blocks from Breadworks-- trust me, I have gained weight just from inhaling all the carb-alicious fumes that waft through my windows.
Posted by: greyhoundgrrl | Feb 23, 2007 12:26:24 PM
That's it. Thread over. Kim wins.
Posted by: Michael Vivar | Feb 23, 2007 8:47:01 AM
Day care.
Posted by: Kim | Feb 23, 2007 12:13:32 AM
Who were "ALL of those deeply closeted ""family men"" ...from Sewickley, Wexford and Mt Lebo..." ? The only derelicts I saw venture into The Garden were teeth gnashing crackheads and hipster poseur gen X males "looking for a good laugh". I'd like to see something like The King's Court/Beehive that was in S. Oakland circa 1992-1995, super comfy movie theatre with couches and tables, great coffee drinks and was also a small band venue upstairs. Or a posh day spa with day care services :-)
Posted by: EB | Feb 22, 2007 3:12:49 PM
Note to Greyhoundgrrl...just say NO to Panera.
BREAD WORKS is much better! Made fresh daily on the north side and no preservatives. Insider Tip: 5:30pm - 6pm weekdays all bread is half off. What doesn't sell is given to charity.
Posted by: John Engle | Feb 22, 2007 12:59:12 PM
I thik it is critical for our neighborhood and the Northside the theatre house something thatcan not be had anywhere else in Pittsburgh. An indepensent theatre which draws population wanting to live around it would be right on.
Persoally I thik a CVS or local convenience would add to the decline. There is plenty of less prime space for these things elsewhere.
Currently there is no local plan in place to ensure identity or population building happenes in the Garden strip development.
Posted by: Brad | Feb 22, 2007 11:01:11 AM
The long awaited darkening of the Garden Theater combined with its presumed interior dankness offer an extraordinary opportunity for a green public building project.
Haul in a few truckloads of mushroom manure and a sustainable terrarium perfomance space is suddenly available to acoustic indie bands. Kids will love building forts in the rich loam and predators from the Aviary can be brought in to scavenge for rodents or unauthorized over-nighters.
The national spotlight will shine brilliantly on the new Garden when we offer to host the composting of un-buried celebrities like Anna Nicole and James Brown.
From pearl necklace hideaway to charm bracelet centerpiece,
the new Garden of earthly delights will continue to excite patrons in communal darkness. Bring your own flashlight.
Posted by: Dan | Feb 22, 2007 10:14:47 AM
Sperm bank.
Posted by: Rick | Feb 22, 2007 9:20:50 AM
Three words: All. Male. Live. Nude. Improv. Comedy.
Two more words: Learn. To. Count.
Posted by: Michael Vivar | Feb 22, 2007 8:41:52 AM
I have wanted this place to be made into a music venue for the longest time. Of course, having never been inside (honestly), I'm not sure of the layout, crowd capacity, etc. It could either be Pittsburgh's answer to Cleveland's Agora but we do already have the Rex and Mr. Smalls. Maybe this could be the mid-sized space that could hold a Morrissey or Flaming Lips show and so many acts like that wouldn't skip Pittsburgh. I think it's more likely to end up being a legit movie theater.
Posted by: Brian | Feb 21, 2007 10:04:10 PM
So, so, so sad for all of those deeply closeted "family men" who drove their Beemers and Volvos all the way to the North Side from Sewickley and Wexford and Mt. Lebanon every Friday to get their special "happy hour" treat at the Garden.
I hope it can be rehabbed into a performance space for bands, poetry readings, movies, theatre, etc.
My money is on a Panera Bread though.
Posted by: Greyhoundgrrl | Feb 21, 2007 7:23:33 PM
I have an idea for the theatre rehab..why doesn't the law firm that soaked the city for millions of dollars in litigation and then after finally prevailing at the Supreme Court level still paid the NY porno king a cool million....why don't they rehab it and move in! They can afford it....
Posted by: Joe | Feb 21, 2007 4:55:28 PM
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