Pittsburgh Dish

Caption Contest

A Just Ducky Tours amphibious vehicle motors down North Avenue on the North Side yesterday morning in all its quacking splendor. Write a caption for the photo and you win nothing - just the satisfaction of being witty.

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Caption Contest

This guy is accused of killing two people in Allentown. That’s not funny. The picture, however, is.

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Caption Contest

Deer hung like bear already taken

Caption Contest: The Kill Pit (or is it Point?) Cars

Name that SWAT

Text & photos by Scot Fleming

For a week or two, downtown folks have been passing these movie prop vehicles parked on the Blvd. of the Allies on deck for "Kill Pit". The mandatory Haddad's trucks that normally let everyone know it's a film shoot have been parked around the corner on Wood Street so, at first glance, it seems like quite the lineup of official-looking rides all in one place for no reason for days on end.

They seem super fakey to me but then I was walking with a co-worker who looked up and said "Ooh, the 'Live At Five' van is here!" I reminded her that we don't have a "Live at Five" news channel OR a TV 14 channel.

So we thought it'd be fun to have people speculate on what roles each vehicle might play in the upcoming TV show being filmed in Sh**tsburgh. We'll start you off. If you can do better - fire away:

1. Fake Police Cruiser. Okay this one could go a couple ways. It could be the car of the two main cops - The good looking young divorced rookie who takes care of his Alzheimer's suffering Dad and is secretly loved by his female partner who has a drinking problem and a heart of gold. OR it could be the car of two buddy male cops, one of whom is so near retirement he can taste it and gets shot in the first five minutes of the pilot.

2. Fake TV "Live at Five" Van. This is the van of the number one news team in the city. They have all the good equipment, for example - the fake satellite uplink antenna on the roof that looks like it's from 1994. Transports the longstanding king of reporters - the smarmy, philandering 40 something TV guy (but with a heart of gold) who never made it to anchor because of his temper (and drinking problem) who has done unspeakable things to get the story in the past and treats everyone like dirt including the new reporter on the block.

3. Fake TV "News Watch 14" SUV. This is the vehicle of the third place TV news channel in town. They try hard but they don't have that mean streak that the other guys have. The channel is in danger of being sold off to a big conglomerate mega corp. if they don't get their ratings up. That's where the new, young, plucky, single Mom blonde reporter with a heart of gold comes in. She just got to town and she's going to prove herself or die trying. If she can just curb her drinking - and avoid the advances of the smarmy Live at Five competitor. With his big satellite uplink antenna...

4. Fake SWAT Truck. Sure, it looks like a regular bread truck painted to look like a SWAT truck. But that's where they pull the Hollywood switcheroo on ya. It's secretly a super high-tech mobile crime headquarters where the super intelligent, high-tech criminals plan their super intelligent, high-tech bank robberies from. Wow - criminals hiding in a SWAT vehicle! Who would ever think to look there! Also - in real life, it's where John Leguizamo goes to "walk his poodle." If you know what I mean. (Actually - that wasn't a joke. He really does walk his poodle around town. Seriously. She's a big black poodle with a drinking problem and a heart of gold.)

Okay we're tired. Your turn:

5.Fake Ambulance

6. Fake Armored Bank Truck

7. Fake Passenger/Dectective Car

8. Fake Water Truck

Caption Contest

Click for larger view (this is not a caption)

Caption Contest

Provide a photo caption in comments you sarcastic beasts.

Photo by Frank Kownacki

Caption Contest

Go ahead. You'll feel better.

Caption Contest

Shoot Dish a caption for this photo taken in Oakland. A sticker opposite this one read: "Warning criminals: I shoot back."

Have a ducky day.

Caption Contest

It's not so much a contest as it is a slow news day for Dish. So you won't win anything. Except our gratitude. And that's not worth a hill of beans either.

Thank you and have a pleasant day.

Caption Contest

Attention wordsmiths: Pen a fitting caption to this photo and win a Dish coffee mug. If our budget allows. So probably not.

Caption Contest

Provide a fitting caption for this photo and you'll be the recipient of a wicked awesome Dish mug. If you relate it to yesterday's downtown pigeon fiaco, we'll run your photo on Dish holding said wicked awesome mug. The deadline is 5 p.m. tomorrow.

Good luck.

Caption Contest: Can It

  If this head could talk, what might it say?

The winner of this contest will win a Dish sticker. That's right a Dish sticker. You got a problem with that? Well than buy an ad so we can buy some mugs or something. Until then you win a Dish sticker! And send a SASE too!

Have a pleasant day.

(Photo taken in Oakland)