Pittsburgh Dish

Wanted: Local talent

Bring out your dead.

Do you fancy fake blood? The producers of Something to Be Desired, an ongoing web-based series filmed in Pittsburgh, are looking for a few good ghouls. The group is filming a Halloween-themed episode on Sun., Oct 15 and Sun. Oct 22 in Bellevue, and they require zombies. Since Pittsburgh is the capital of Zombiedom, unearthing the undead shouldn't be too much of a chore.

Here's what you need:

1. Proof of age (over 18, please).
2. Clothing you don't mind never wearing again (fake blood tends to stain)
3. The willingness to amuse yourself safely between shots
4. Common sense (we'll be filming in a warehouse, so safety is key)
5. Transportation to and from Bellevue.

For more information and directions, please email zombies@somethingtobedesired.com

(Please include what day(s) you're available. This is a first-come, first-zombified notice.)

There is no pay. Compensation includes exposure on an international webseries plus free coffee and/or fake blood.

Makeup artists will be on-hand to convert the willing into the undead. Volunteer zombies will not be required to attend both shoots, though you're certainly welcome to.

Check out the series at www.SomethingToBeDesired.com.

Thanks for the support, Juice

Um, buddy, the Browns have some pretty nice ballcaps, why not try one of those?

Laughter Club embarrasses, er, debuts in Pittsburgh

Cuddle parties, we hardly knew ya.

What's next--pretend funerals?

http://www.pittsburghlive.com/x/pittsburghtrib/news/cityregion/s_451368.html

Footnote:

If you have to go to the public library so that someone can try to teach you how to laugh, you:

1.  Shouldn't drive there.

2.  Need a drink, or 11.

3.  Shouldn't reproduce.

4.  Lack a key prerequiste for this course-a sense of humor.

-Mike Gillis

Drew Cucuzza contributed the funeral bit.

Twig and berries nuked at Get Go

When Rocky Mountain oysters aren't vile enough.

Update: Private parts not nuked--only tinkle. Read the lastest account at the end of the story.

Police: Man Fled With Severed Body Part

(KDKA)

MCKEESPORTAuthorities are now investigating a strange incident in McKeesport. Someone brought a severed male body part to a Get-Go to heat up in the microwave, and now police are trying to find the culprit.

McKeesport Police say a man walked into the store, located on Fifth Avenue, and asked the clerk to use the microwave oven.

After the clerk noticed a strange smell coming from the microwave, she told police she opened the door and discovered human male genitalia wrapped in a paper towel cooking inside.

McKeesport police told KDKA the man fled with the severed body part after she made the discovery. She then called the police.

Some people were shocked at the news.

“I mean what can you say. Hopefully, they’re looking for the person who it belongs to,” said Sandy Furman of McKeesport.

One man told KDKA he wasn’t surprised by what happened.

"I think that's the one they ought to look for - the one who may be hurt," said Denny Adler, of McKeesport. "It's shocking that I'm not (surprised). It's just the nature of the beast."

Authorities are now trying to find the man who fled the store.

UPDATE: A source in McKeesport who visits this particular Get Go conveys to Dish that the schlong, et al, in question was actually a Whizzenator, one of those fake penises that folks fill with clean urine and use to beat drug tests. Apparently, the faux tackle was microwaved in order to heat the urine to approximate body temperature, a key element of beating drug tests. Not that Dish knows anything about that sort of stuff. The odor in question, it seems, was the heated tinkle.

Sweet Mother Mary, look at this

Creepy. Delightful. Or creepily delightful. You make the call. You don't have to be a football fan to appreciate this work of genius.

Steeler Baby will eat your young.