Pittsburgh Dish

Pens win, Jagr photographed looking grizzled

Mr. Dish had an excellent seat for Sunday's playoff game, which the Penguins won 3-2 in overtime (as if you didn't know by now)

This photo, taken with Mr. Dish's cell phone camera, shows former Penguins' star Jaromir Jagr looking a bit ragged prior to the opening faceoff of yesterday's ice hockey contest.

Mr. Dish was sitting in the second row from the ice, next to the Rangers' penalty box. He harassed several Rangers from this position. He paid far too much for the ticket.

If you would like to help Mr. Dish defray the cost of his hockey habit, feel free to advertise with Pittsburgh Dish. We have more readers and more reasonable rates that the North Side Chronicle. Donations are also acceptable. As are Penguins playoff tickets.

Dish Crass, Begs for Money, Again

Time for our semi-annual, bi-monthly, once in a blue moon grovel.

If this were NPR (yes, Dish knows the "R" in NPR stands for "radio," a sound-based medium and we're dealing with the written word here, but bear with us) you'd be hearing Ira Glass' oddly engaging voice gently guilting you into making a pledge.

Were Dish a former girlfriend's uncle, Dish would break your leg and steal your wallet. And possibly set you ablaze.

If Dish just happened to be a South American military junta it would nationalize your factories.

Let's say, just for the sake of discussion, that Dish was your college's alumni office. In that case, Dish would be some random sophomore calling you every night around suppertime asking for your support.

And what would happen if, say, Dish was a municipal government and you had a contracting business? Pay to play, baby.

Last but not least, let's imagine Dish were a panhandler. What would be going on then? Well, first Dish would stake out a busy corner. Dish would be persistent, no doubt, but not overly aggressive. Dish might smell a little bit. Dish would curtail it's begging from sundown to sunup. And no way, no how, would dish ply its "trade" within close proximity to schools, houses of worship or businesses. Dish does not want to frighten you. But Dish would say this: "Brother, can you spare a few bucks so that Dish can pay Typepad and maybe kick a few bucks in the direction of all those who have been so kind to contribute their work to the online publication that you check out with some frequency?"

Dish brings you the sports stylings of Jody DiPerna, Ryan Caione and Jack Miksch. Christopher Arnott offers Warholian news and insight. Drew Cucuzza's music reviews are unique and (thankfully) twisted. Mike Gillis' wit seeps through every news commentary. We are fortunate to publish photos by Kathleen Cei and Jeff Glagowski, two talented shutterbugs. Dish broke the news about Trader Joe's settling in Pittsburgh and published the only published insiders' look at the Pittsburgh Film Office. In Joanna Bernstein's piece, Dish broke the news that rich kids in Fox Chapel can sure be obnoxious twits (you may have known this in a general sense, but Bernstein really took you inside the jackassery, didn't she?). Dish, while frequently reminding you that Pittsburgh pizza sucks, likes Pittsburgh. And animals. Dish visits restaurants, cultural attractions and brothels and doesn't keep all the fun to itself. Dish keeps a close eye on print and web media and covers stories either too small for the P-G or too unhip for the City Paper (just about anything on Dish). Dish shares with you. And believe it or not, works pretty much all day long to write, edit and layout Dish.

We'd like to continue endeavor but we need your help.

Dish knows. You're thinking, "No one makes Dish do all this, this yeoman's work. No one makes Dish share its wit and wisdom with a public thirsting for the truth." Au contraire, mon frere. It is you, Dish reader, that compels Dish to Dish. It's, essentially, all your fault. So please help Dish do your bidding. Contribute money (See that Pay Pal link? It's really small. Over there. In the right-hand side column with the ads. Come on, don't play dumb. It's right there, below the spay/neuter and Katrina pets ads. This is very unbecoming of you. Dish knows you see it and is going to sit right here until you click on it. Go on. Give till it hurts. Be a hero. Man, Dish should make that thing more prominent.) Or buy an ad. Lots of people reads us (no foolin') who may need or enjoy your services.

Will you be the hero that Dish so terribly needs? Will you? (A solitary tear trails down Dish's right cheek. Lights fade. Cut.)

- Finis -

A question

What the heck are you people looking for?

Ladies and gentlemen, Dish has a question. Or, rather, many questions. Over the past week or so, an alarming percentage of traffic driven to our site has been directed here by Google searches seeking information on "quick change artists." Has the zeitgeist escaped our finely tuned cultural radar? Are people worldwide interested in how, say, Madonna, can go through 13 costume changes in a two hour show whilst being pseudo-crucified? Has a person of significance achieved further renown by artistically changing quickly?

Is there a novel cultural impetus driving a need, unrecognized by Dish, to be able to swap garments in a shorter period of time than it takes for some sort of fancy fast car to go from 0 to 60? If Dish continues to miss the boat on this trend, will we find ourselves unable to remove our trousers with adequate alacrity, provoking gales of laughter from those in the know? Are we not even talking about clothes here? Is it changing personalities? Political affiliation? Returning the proper amount of surplus money after a cash transaction? The painting, sculpting or creation of an interpretive dance pertinent to any of these endeavors?

Let us know what's up. Tell us the password. Teach us the secret handshake. We are lost.

Page one artwork found here.

Dish Crass, Begs for Money, Again

Time for our semi-annual, bi-monthly, once in a blue moon grovel.

If this were NPR (yes, Dish knows the "R" in NPR stands for "radio," a sound-based medium and we're dealing with the written word here, but bear with us) you'd be hearing Ira Glass' oddly engaging voice gently guilting you into making a pledge.

Were Dish a former girlfriend's uncle, Dish would break your leg and steal your wallet. And possibly set you ablaze.

If Dish just happened to be a South American military junta it would nationalize your factories.

Let's say, just for the sake of discussion, that Dish was your college's alumni office. In that case, Dish would be some random sophomore calling you every night around suppertime asking for your support.

And what would happen if, say, Dish was a municipal government and you had a contracting business? Pay to play, baby.

Last but not least, let's imagine Dish were a panhandler. What would be going on then? Well, first Dish would stake out a busy corner. Dish would be persistent, no doubt, but not overly aggressive. Dish might smell a little bit. Dish would curtail it's begging from sundown to sunup. And no way, no how, would dish ply its "trade" within close proximity to schools, houses of worship or businesses. Dish does not want to frighten you. But Dish would say this: "Brother, can you spare a few bucks so that Dish can pay Typepad and maybe kick a few bucks in the direction of all those who have been so kind to contribute their work to the online publication that you check out with some frequency?"

Dish brings you the sports stylings of Jody DiPerna, Ryan Caione and Jack Miksch. Christopher Arnott offers Warholian news and insight. Drew Cucuzza's music reviews are unique and (thankfully) twisted. Mike Gillis' wit seeps through every news commentary. We are fortunate to publish photos by Kathleen Cei and Jeff Glagowski, two talented shutterbugs. Dish broke the news about Trader Joe's settling in Pittsburgh and published the only published insiders' look at the Pittsburgh Film Office. In Joanna Bernstein's piece, Dish broke the news that rich kids in Fox Chapel can sure be obnoxious twits (you may have known this in a general sense, but Bernstein really took you inside the jackassery, didn't she?). Dish, while frequently reminding you that Pittsburgh pizza sucks, likes Pittsburgh. And animals. Dish visits restaurants, cultural attractions and brothels and doesn't keep all the fun to itself. Dish keeps a close eye on print and web media and covers stories either too small for the P-G or too unhip for the City Paper (anything on Dish). Dish shares with you. And believe it or not, works pretty much all day long to write, edit and layout Dish.

We'd like to continue endeavor but we need your help.

Dish knows. You're thinking, "No one makes Dish do all this, this yeoman's work. No one makes Dish share its wit and wisdom with a public thirsting for the truth." Au contraire, mon frere. It is you, Dish reader, that compels Dish to Dish. It's, essentially, all your fault. So please help Dish do your bidding. Contribute money (See that Pay Pal link? It's really small. Over there. In the right-hand side column with the ads. Come on, don't play dumb. It's right there, below the spay/neuter and Katrina pets ads. This is very unbecoming of you. Dish knows you see it and is going to sit right here until you click on it. Go on. Give till it hurts. Be a hero. Man, Dish should make that thing more prominent.) Or buy an ad. Lots of people reads us (no foolin') who may need or enjoy your services.

Will you be the hero that Dish so terribly needs? Will you? (A solitary tear trails down Dish's right cheek. Lights fade. Cut.)

- Finis -

Dish wants you!

It’s Your Town. Read All About It.

Pittsburgh. Its neighborhoods. Its government. Its people – from the knuckleheads to the kooks, from the spring chicken to the silver fox and everyone in between.

That’s what this web site is about: A five-day-a-week report covering news, commentary, humor (we hope), sports, media and arts and entertainment. Pittsburgh Dish is produced by veteran journalists and by you.

We believe that democracy starts at home, with smart, thorough, in-depth local news reporting and broad citizen debate about local issues. Thanks to the Internet, journalists and news-deprived citizens need no longer be hostages to out-of-state media conglomerates or media outlets who think they are the only game in town.

But we can't do it without you. Send us news tips (sources are never revealed), event listings, restaurant recommendations and concerns. You are as much a part of the reporting process as we are. No story is too little.

Together the Dish will grow.

Stick 'em up

We're trashy.

People, including yourself, read Pittsburgh Dish. Dish wants more people to read Dish so that Dish can charge advertisers more to advertise on Dish (Get in on the ground floor, people. Special introductory rate still available. $50 a month, three-month minimum? Small money, indeed, to reach such a bright and influential audience. And a rather pretty one as well, Dish must add. Don't blush, you're a vision of loveliness). Being wily, Dish thought: Dish should promote Dish. What did Dish do? Dish did this: Have graphic designer chum Kyle (please patronize Kyle's business, smartpilldesign.com, for all your design needs) print up a bunch of Dish stickers. Dish handed the Dish stickers out at Dish's August launch party. Many people took Dish stickers and stuck them hither and yon. They like Dish.

Well, apparently an afDISHionado thought the ATMs and trash cans of Shadyside were primed for Dish love and stuck Dish stickers here and there. At least one Shadysidian was displeased.

Email exchange with Shadyside resident:

Dear Editor: I wanted to ask you to stop putting your stickers on the trash cans and atm's in Shadyside. We're trying to keep the neighborhood clean, and would appreciate your help. There are many other ways for you to advertise, and we hope that you'll go those routes.

Many thanks.--S

Dish responds:

We appreciate your concern, but we didn't put them there. Others have access to our stickers as well. --Joe, Pittsburgh Dish

That's good to know. But are there other legitimate uses for the stickers or are they just passed out randomly?

P.S. Is there a name associated with "editor?" --S

I can't say I'm sure what you mean by "other legitimate uses." Our names are listed on the about page of the website. Joe Miksch and Colleen Van Tassell. --Joe

What I meant is: What are the uses for the stickers? And who has access to them? So far I've only seen them on trash cans and atm's. If there are internal uses, that's all to the good. I just hate to see them plastered on other peoples' private property. --S

End of transmission. So far.

Dish understands. Dish doesn't want to deface. Yet, Dish wonders if Concerned Citizen of Shadyside  (CCS) calls, emails, nettles every rock band or garage sale haver that dare post in his bailiwick. Dish can control the weather, the outcome of New York-Penn League baseball games, the tides, squirrels and, on occasion, NASDAQ. Dish cannot control where Dish stickers are placed. And, not for nothin', but Dish wonders what Shadyside's Mr. Clean means by the "purpose" of Dish stickers. To cure irritable bowel syndrome, of course.

In short, while Dish empathizes (oh, scratch that. let's go with "semi-gives-a-toss"), Dish can do no more than chide illicit Dish sticker stickers. Tsk, tsk. And let's not forget: If Dish stickers are outlawed, only outlaws will have Dish stickers.

P.S. Contact Dish at editor@pittsburghdish.com for free stickers.

Makes cents to us

Did Dish say it would cost $50 to attend the Dean event? Overjoyed, we lost our heads. Change that figure to $49.44.

We wish to thank the kind soul who ordered a movie on Amazon via our humble website. Because of you Pittsburgh Dish is solvent (OK we're less in the red). Max, Dish's accountant (in photo), reports that Dish, which never had a coffer, now has a coffer.

Dish procured a whopping 56 cents in Amazon referral fees today. Translated into penny candy that's a couple of jawbreakers, a Slo Poke and maybe a pair of wax lips. Celebrate Dish's pay day with a PayDay!

P.S.: The above-mentioned movie responsible for Dish's pecuniary windfall was Wet Hot American Summer. Had it been Jerry McGuire we would've kept the good news to ourselves.

Shutterbugs Wanted

Found yourself out and about in Pittsburgh with a digital camera and later downloaded some fun photos? Wanna share them with your neighbors? Send them to the Dish editor@pittsburghdish.com and we'll post your masterpieces.

Please be sure to include your full name so we can give you credit for your work.