Pittsburgh Dish

Forecast: Foxiness

Pittsburgh gets 3,283.45 times prettier thanks to "The Road"

The Post-Gazette has it today that Charlize Theron and Viggo Mortensen are coming to Pittsburgh to film an adaptation of novelist Cormac McCarthy's book, "The Road." The book is about some guy on some road somewhere, Dish thinks.

In any event, the pair, who are individually rather sexxxy, will arrive in Western Pennsylvania in late February and remain around these parts for about eight weeks.

Dish advises those who come into contact with Theron or Mortensen shield their eyes, lest they be overcome by pulchritude. However - if it's possible and though it may seem contradictory try to make babies with either as Pittsburgh could use an infusion of lovely. We don't want to become
Philadelphia, do we?

From 704 Hauser to 403 E. Ohio

Mrs. Meathead visits the North Side

After a lovely humid Saturday night watching the Pirates get whipped -- again -- this Dish correspondent decided to wander over to the Park House on the North Side to partake in some libations and kvetch about our sucky, sucky baseball team.

We entered to find a small crowd inside our favorite peanut shells-on-the-floor establishment, and took a moment to inhale the sweet aroma of fryer grease.

Then, right there before our very eyes, we saw…Meathead's wife.

That's right, folks. Sally Struthers, best known for playing liberal-minded Gloria Stivic in the 1970s television series "All in the Family." Struthers' character was daughter of Archie and Edith Bunker and wife of "Meathead," played by Rob Reiner.

But you already knew that.

So what was Struthers doing in our fair Steel City?

Has the market for bringing food and other aid to impoverished children in developing countries via the "Christian Children's Fund" dried up?

Or was she trying to escape the creators of "South Park," who parodied her in 1997 and 1999 episodes where she was first the children's fund pitchwoman who ate all the donated food herself and later featured as "Jabba the Hutt" from Star Wars?

Nope. Turns out she is in town playing a supporting role in the CLO's production of "The Full Monty." She plays Jeanette Burmeister, a showbiz piano player.

We at Dish are quite flattered that she discovered our little North Side gem known as the Park House for an after-show drink. We didn't get a chance to talk to her, and we're still kicking ourselves for not having a digital camera at the ready.

But in honor of the smoky atmosphere of the Park House, we give you this "All in the Family" exchange between Meathead and Archie as Archie puffs away in the family living room:

Mike Stivic: What are you doing?
Archie Bunker: Did you ever hear of smoke damage?
Mike Stivic: Did you ever hear of fraud?
Archie Bunker: Did you ever hear of getting lucky?
Mike Stivic: Did you ever hear of going to jail?
Archie Bunker: Did you ever hear of shut up.

Comedy Gold

Her neurons made her say it

Update: It just gets better

From Starpulse.com:

British actress Sienna Miller has blamed a mild form of Tourette's syndrome for her string of foul-mouthed outbursts last year. The Factory Girl star - who sparked controversy by revealing she takes drugs because "they're fun" - famously upset Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania residents last October after drunkenly calling their city "S$%tsburgh" during an interview.

The 25-year-old insists the rants are the result of suffering from a form of Tourette's syndrome, a neurological disorder which is most often associated with the exclamation of obscene or derogatory remarks.

She says, "These things just come out. I think it might be mild Tourette's, not to insult people who have proper Tourette's, but I will say the most inappropriate things at the most inappropriate time to the most inappropriate person. Always. Guaranteed."

And Miller reveals she has a string of cheeky nicknames for other American states, explaining, "Massivetwos@#$s is Massachusetts. Connectic#$%t, or Connectibutt."

Cluck You Sienna

After dumping on Pittsburgh over a plate of chicken wings, the former tire calendar pin-up gets dumped.

Jude Law and Sienna Miller Call It Quits
By Pete Norman

Jude Law and Sienna Miller have finally split for good, a source close to the pair tells PEOPLE exclusively.

"It's a mutual decision," a pal of the actor says of ending the roller-coaster romance. "They have definitely come to the end of the road. They tried to make it work but it failed."

Reps for both Miller and Law refused to comment on the private lives of their clients.

Law, 33, and Miller, 24, were engaged to be married in 2004 but Miller broke off the relationship after his affair with his children's nanny, Daisy Wright, was exposed the following year.

Law was divorced from his actress wife Sadie Frost in late 2003 and the couple have three children and another child from Frost's previous relationship. The actor's closeness to his children and by default to Frost has caused tension in his relationship with Miller. "There isn't another person involved but it isn't helped by Jude's devotion to his kids," says the pal.

"He and Sadie have a very friendly relationship for the sake of the kids but they are not getting back together," the pal adds. "It's pretty amazing seeing how calm it is for the kids with them but they are definitely not an item again."

New York-born Miller met Law on the set of Alfie, the movie in which he seduced her onscreen. Romance flourished offscreen and the pair was engaged on Christmas Day 2004. But just months later, Wright went public with intimate details of the torrid affair she had with the actor while he was filming All The King's Men in Louisiana.

After the revelation of the affair, Miller called off their union and Law issued an apology. After months apart the couple gingerly made another go of it in one of Hollywood's great mysteries of the heart.

"It was one of those can't live with them, can't live without them," an insider told PEOPLE when they first started dating again. Around the same time Miller was linked to new James Bond Daniel Craig but the reports were never substantiated.

Prior to acting, Miller was a model and once appeared nude in a famed Pirelli calendar, but was recently embroiled in controversy in Pittsburgh after insulting the city in an interview with while filming there. She later apologized to its citizens.

Sienna Miller adopts Pittsburgher

So what if he has a five o'clock shadow.

Noted thespian and renown Pittsburgh-hater Sienna Miller left town over the weekend at the conclusion of filming the silver screen adaptation of Michael Chabon's stellar novel, "The Mysteries of Pittsburgh." With her, she took her haughtiness, her less-than-perfect complexion (airbrushing: A semi-famous actress' best friend), and—taking the lead from Brangelina and Madonna—a new addition to her family.

Miller, who settled on calling the Steel City "Shittsburgh" after testing out and discarding other bon mots such as "Pissburgh," "Titsburgh," "InWorldWarIIWeCalledtheGermansFritzburgh," adopted former Edgar Thompson wire mill employee and current barfly/security guard, Walter Majorac.

Upon the finalization of the adoption, Majorac, 48, of Baldwin, was swaddled in Hermes scarves and loaded into an SUV with tinted windows bound for Pittsburgh International Airport. For his part, Majorac took the adoption in stride: "Mommy says she has a satellite dish. I watch Steelers, yaaaay!"

At the airport, Miller said her motives were altruistic. "To save this child from a lifetime of deprivation living in the clutches of this hilly third world hamlet of decent people with a growing downtown, a world-class orchestra, stunning architecture, myriad entertainment options, swell restaurants and cozy neighborhood pubs makes me feel awesome," she said.

Told Majorac is middle-aged with a wife, three children, and a hinky prostate, Miller paused, muttered, "Um, Shittsburgh," and, with Majorac in an absolutely gigantic papoose-style baby carrier (his feet were on the ground and he—with baby bottles filled with IC Light in each hand—was actually carrying Miller), boarded a commercial airliner headed to "Londumb." Presumably she meant "London."

Miller plans to leave Majorac in the company of a nanny. Her beau, Jude Law, says he finds this prospect intriguing.

Michael Vivar contributed to this article.

Jude Law in town

Young Brit seen in clutches of young brat last night.

British actor Jude Law was seen on the set of "Mysteries of Pittsburgh" last night. Law was visiting his on-again off-again girlfriend Sienna Miller who has been in town shooting the film, which also stars Peter Sarsgaard and Nick Nolte. Law arrived in Pittsburgh yesterday, sources said.

The couple was spotted while filming at a house in the upscale suburb of Sewickley, home to hockey legend Mario Lemieux as well as former Steeler and Republican gubernatorial candidate Lynn Swann.

"I was just standing there when I saw this couple walk toward me," one female source said. "I probably wouldn't have noticed it was him but when Sienna saw me, she grabbed his arm tight like a jealous high school girlfriend." Law and the 24-year-old actress grabbed tabloid headlines after Law dumped Miller for his children's nanny.

Miller, who called the Burgh "Shitsburgh" in a recent Rolling Stone article and was tossed out of a South Side bar last week, has been "stomping around and swearing like a truck driver" on set. She was told to pipe down during a shoot with children, sources said. Last week, Miller passed on using a g-string while shooting a love scene, a rarity among actors.

More bad behavior is anticipated next week when Miller will be filmed in an outdoor swimming pool. Weather is expected to be in the 30s.

Spurned, burnt and rebuffed

Sienna Miller bares more than her feelings towards the Burgh.

While Crayola decided to keep burnt sienna in it's colorful little box, the poop-on-Pittsburgh actress Sienna Miller wasn't so lucky.

The actress was booted out of Young's Tavern over the weekend because she didn't have ID. Apparently her Norma Desmond "Don't you know who I am!?" bologna didn't empress the bouncer who bounced the blonde to the curb. It's not the first time Pittsburgh has shown great deference toward Hollywood types. This summer, talk show host Jimmy Kimmel was denied a seat on a Just Ducky tour, though he refrained from throwing a hissy fit.

Wait, that's not all folks.

In exclusive Sienna news (moronic sounding we know), sources say Miller also rebuffed donning a g-string and other coverups during a love scene last week. Usually, actors are not completely in the buff during nude scenes, said the source. "Most of the time they wear either a g-string or something flesh-colored to cover their privates. They prefer it. It's very rare than an actor does this."

Apparently those on set didn't appreciate the actress's raw sanctitude. 'Buff said.

Filming ends Oct. 20.

Will her shenanigans?

Sienna Miller learns ...

...only Pittsburghers can insult Pittsburgh. Film producers barraged with outraged 'Burgers.

Update: Though Dish reported the story about the city's outrage before the national media (OK,so we're not above gloating), read the AP follow-up on Miller's mea culpa after dumping on Pittsburgh. The writer reinforces Miller's perspective in the last four paragraphs. Hey, why talk about the good things when you can side with a starlet?

And we thought we were being such good hosts.

Sources say the production office of the film "Mysteries of Pittsburgh," has been swarmed with calls this morning, outraged by actress and victim of nanny-based infidelity Sienna Miller's comments in the latest issue of Rolling Stone. Her hurtful words were reported in the P-G this morning. To deal with the fallout, a room at the William Penn hotel is being prepared for an afternoon press conference.

In the RS article, Miller calls Pittsburgh "shit," though the author claims the second-tier actress rarely left her hotel room. Miller plays a supporting role in the film adaptation of novelist Michael Chabon's best seller.

Chabon, also the author of Wonder Boys, which was also turned into a Pittsburgh-shot movie, earned his BA at the University of Pittsburgh and MFA at UC-Irvine. To Dish's knowledge, he never compared the city to solid animal waste.

P-G reporter John Hayes, who sought reaction from the Rolling Stone piece's author, wrote:

"Can you believe this is my life?" Miss Miller later asks Rolling Stone contributing editor Jenny Eliscu, over a plate of garlic-parmesan Buffalo wings at a Pittsburgh hotel bar. "Will you pity me when you're back in your funky New York apartment and I'm still in Pittsburgh? I need to get more glamorous films."

Miller has be on a two-week (or should we say fortnight so as not to sound like dumb Pittsburghers) hiatus to her London apartment during filming and is expected to return today. One outraged caller reportedly said, "Where are you filming? We want to throw pierogies at her."

Dish suggests mashed potato and onion for this purpose. Regarding "more glamorous films," Dish suggests better talent.

But in all seriousness, Sienna, why don't you stop by the Monterey Pub on the North Side for an Imp and Ahrn? We'll show you why they call this place Paris on the Mon.

More Sienna shenanigans here.

Duck tour operators exemplars of integrity

C-List celebrity not permitted to displace common quackheads.

With All-Star week in full flower, Pittsburgh is chock full of visitors, some more famous than others. Dish spies report that late night talk show host Jimmy Kimmel— boon companion of ESPN.com's Bill Simmons and boyfriend of the lovely and charmingly vile comedienne Sarah Silverman—endeavored to take Just Ducky Tours hour-long, fun- filled and rather informative tour of Pittsburgh. He and his posse of four or so were told that there was no room on the WWII-vintage amphibious vehicle.

Kimmel, to his credit, neither demanded a seat on the duck boat nor threw any manner of fit when informed of the sell out. As a gesture of good will, a Just Ducky tour operator planned to offer Kimmel a Just Ducky T-shirt if he could locate the occasionally funny gentleman at yesterday's celebrity softball game—in which Kimmel participated—at PNC Park.

If Kimmel is still in town after tonight's home run Derby, may Dish suggest the following (brought to Dish's attention by Deadspin.com) as a diversion:

If Kimmel is not interested in cooling his jets in the company of Mr. and Mrs. Canseco, perhaps he will drop by Dish's North Side HQ for several Straubs and a front row seat to the exploits of the Pittsburgh Drive-by Shooting team.