Pittsburgh Dish

Hello Mudda

Dish's 9-year-old correspondent risks life, limb and valuable smore making time to file his first report from Heinz House Camp.

Please send us your translations of Larry's letters. At the conclusion of his correspondence, Larry's mom will interpret.  

Kids off to camp, parents rejoice

Our youngest correspondent goes into the woods.

In his youth, Mr. Dish assiduously avoided summer camp. The certainty of being on the receiving end of multiple atomic wedgies, a irrational fear of poison ivy, and an overarching need to watch television made trips to the virgin woods unappealing to say the least. Mr. Dish, you may have guessed, was a bit of a Nancy boy.

However, unlike Mr. Dish, the 84 youngsters assembled at Heinz House the morning of June 24 exhibited no fear, eager as they were to embark on trip—carried by the iconic yellow school bus—to a rural area outside Ellwood City and the Sarah Heinz House Camp.

Among the youngsters was Larry Moore (right). The 9-year-old stood on the sidewalk with a suitcase that nearly matched him in size. Master Larry is not a small boy and, according to his grandmother, JoAnn, has a tendency to lose his boxer shorts at camp, hence the ample supply stuffed into the suitcase. Ready for two weeks at camp, Moore stood out among the other boys, laden with their own luggage and, naturally, fishing poles.

Larry, primed as he was to ride “the big water slide” and excited as he was about camping in general and the particular fact that counselor Dan showed up sporting a Mohawk, had another assignment at camp aside from enjoying the great outdoors. He has graciously agreed to write about his experiences for Pittsburgh Dish.

We expect his bulletins from the great north woods to be a bit more engaging than, “Hello muddah, hello faddah, here I am, at Camp Granada.” Larry’s much cooler than that.

As the buses were revving up, Larry was raring to go. Jay Jordheim of Etna (left) was running through all the things he anticipated doing, “The waterslide, the tarp in this hill, capture the flag, overnights in the woods, the Fourth of July bonfire …” and Holly Williams of Manchester was trying to persuade her son, Marcus, to use the bathroom. (Not for the expected reason, she wanted to occupy him elsewhere while she hid his birthday presents in his luggage.)

Duffel bags were being tossed into a bus, boys were engaging in fishing rod swordplay, and Larry was thinking about one of his favorite things at the Sarah Heinz House camp: Food.

The camp costs $200 and his counselor says he eats more than that,” said JoAnn with a laugh.

With that, Larry was off. Mr. Dish, now in his mid thirties, is pleased to camp vicariously through Larry and Dish hopes you enjoy reading his missives as much as we expect to.